Friday, August 29, 2008

Why can't monsters get along with other monsters?

I'm writing a review of a book called "The Swap" for the Journal Star, only by "writing a review" I mean "still trying to get through the piece of shit. Luckily George loves me and gives me all the time in the world. This thing is horrible. It's about a kid who swaps a mint condition Superman One in 1982 for a worthless piece of plastic, and then ends up running a comic store. Since I won't have room in the review to spell this out, let me do it for you here:

First of all, since the author has clearly never read a comic book in his life, I can't tell if he thinks that Superman One was the hero's debut or not. If so, he's wrong. If not, still, who gives a shit. There isn't a soul on the planet who didn't know that a mint copy was worth thousands of thousands of dollars, let alone two souls – the character claims to remember buying the thing. It makes me fucking crazy, I just can't wrap my head around it. Where the hell do you find a mint condition Superman One in 1982 for less than a hundred grand? You don't. Also, this book is supposed to be sort of a mystery, which means that not only is the author/protagonist an idiot, but he picked the completely wrong super hero to be an idiot about. Everyone knows that the Batman is the worlds' greatest detective. It's bullshit.

Anyway.

SEND IN THE CLOUDS. BRING DOWN THE RAIN. SHUT ALL THE BLINDS, TURN OUT THE LIGHTS. I FEEL INSANE WHEN YOU GET IN MY BED.

I can't stop listening to that one.

Is it proper to be in love but still driven somewhat crazy by someone that you see every day but don't know at all? ...Yes. Okay. Thanks for the clarification, Me. No problem, Me.

I was outside smoking a cigarette just now and saw some motherfucker in an SUV drop a can of Red Bull on the ground outside his car before driving away. That's just mean, man. I gave him the bird and he scowled. He obviously didn't get it.

Old Man Olympics in Vermillion tomorrow. Well, tonight actually, but I have to work so I won't be there to compete until Saturday. I have a sneaking suspicion that this will be my undoing. I just don't think I can drink that much beer. Anyone who wants to see me so hammered that I can't speak will find me at Leo's tomorrow afternoon, followed (probably) by Carey's.

Billy, your heartbreaker is in progress. You may need to learn to drink in order to listen to it without falling apart.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Go ahead; I wish you would.

It seems that during my time away, summer in Lincoln ended. A ride downtown yields (besides the eventual realization that I forgot my wallet) a plethora of tykes walking home and even a license plate that read: "LEARN". I don't know if the new freshman crop has arrived at UNL yet, but the upperclassmen are definitely starting to show their heads. This reminds me that I need to get in touch with SCC this week...

I took the Party Barge down here over fears that my bike chain will pop off again while I'm downtown. There's a part that Elctra recalled that causes the outer casing to knock the chain off the gears, and it's been a problem since I got it. It's fine if it pops off the back one, but for the main gear I have to unscrew like five things and remove the entire outside of it to get it back in place. It's really annoying. Re-Cycled isn't open until tomorrow, either.

...Yeah, a girl at the Coffee House is reading something by Virginia Woolf. School is definitely back.

I know I talk about Apple a lot, but my belief that the iPod is the best invention ever has been renewed by its glorious performance over the course of my 14-hour round-trip. Honestly, these things should be issued for free to the public. Everybody should be allowed to have one.

I'm sure there are a lot of things that I could expand on in this entry, but I'm just not feeling up to it. Things I've learned in the last week, though:

1. Limbo isn't always Limbo.
2. There is a third part to the Blues.
3. I am in a better mood after seeing her, always.
4. Brock Samson should be a religion.
5. I am awesome at Cribbage.
6. Stranger Than Fiction is a really good film.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Deedly-dee!

Tri Point finally showed up to take care of my trees yesterday, and ended up cutting one down. I've got a serious case of cutters remorse, people. I really miss that tree. The place feels psychotic without it. I'll plant a new one, but who knows how long it'll be before that tree gets interesting. Boo. I should have taken a picture of the stump...

Anyway. Things I love today:

1. People Watching other people who are People Watching, and trying to gauge by their expressions whether or not we feel the same way about the folks we're seeing. There is a girl chain-smoking on the curb outside the Coffee House and watching the passers by. She was a good subject.

2. Irony. Last night the power went out during a meeting with the Lincoln Electrical System regarding the rising rates of power. Then, while elsewhere in the city people were gathering in their neighborhoods for "Feel Safe Day" or something, somebody decided to head out on a drive-by and shoot some people. Thank you Nebraska, you weird, hopeless bastards.

3. Hercules and Love Affair. So I sort of like disco. Sue me.

4. Still having my job. Sixteen people got laid off at the Journal Star last week, and though my areas were unscathed they did chuck some people that I like–most notably the only good illustrator they had (who was also the dude who trained me).

Okay, I'm going to go find something to do.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Outside and I are quits.

Heat wave, baby. Take off your pants.

I suppose I haven't weighed in on The Dark Knight yet, have I? Where do we begin. I can't say I've got a fully realized reaction yet, other than a resounding sense of the positive. For some reason I feel like I have to really pick the thing apart before I can say anything with authority – this is a surefire sign of one becoming far too geeky for his own good.

"I don't know how I feel about it," Egan said. "I've only seen it twice."

Swell. But in all seriousness: Heath Ledger – and even my sister, who is a stage actress and hates movies, agrees – is just stupidly amazing. I can't say that I've always followed his body of work, but I would say that I know Heath Ledger when I see him, and I didn't see him once in that entire movie. He just completely disappears inside that Joker he's built, and it's just beautiful to behold. From the day shooting started we've been hearing about how great he was going to be, and I don't feel at all like I was let down. Bravo, kid.

As for the rest of it, well, the whole thing is fabulous. It really is a completely different kind of comic book film. The only problem I had was the sonar thing. Plus I noticed that Bale is doing amazing things with Bruce if you pay close attention to when he uses his Batman voice out of costume. And the rise of Two-Face was glorious.

Anyway.

There is a flier out front of the Coffee House for a Kickback show two weeks from now. I like it when that happens.

I stuck a new story up on Zoetrope, but I don't think anyone has reviewed it yet. It's only a thousand words. Those people are usually pretty helpful though. I'll have to review a couple and hope that they reciprocate. Maybe I'll do that now...

...and WOW, that's the most glowing review ever! Neat.

Ima tend to this then go geter drunk.